An Open Letter to a Dad – the one that walked away

An Open Letter to a Dad

I want to thank the man who married my Mom.  Despite the fact, you abandon me not only once but twice, you have taught me strength and true, unconditional love.

When you walked away the first time, I was 3 and I didn’t understand it.  My mom shared some of my time with you but your focus was really, usually, on the older brother.  That was the older brother that beat the crap out of me for 7 years. It’s like you didn’t know what to do with a daughter. That makes me feel sorry for you. Now that you’ve abandon me again, I’m 46, and I understand far more…..

I understand that my Mom died and you haven’t spoken to me since. I can tell you, to the day, the last time we spoke.  July 16, 2015.  Both my parents died that day.

I understand you must feel guilty for the abuse the brother gave to me. If you didn’t feel guilt you would understand it more fully and not choose sides.

I understand that quite possibly your heart is not capable of loving fully. You cannot empathize or show compassion for those that are hurt or weak around you.

I understand that just because I am diagnosed with PTSD I am not allowed to be loved by you. If you can’t control the situation; it is not in your world.

I understand that my imperfection doesn’t fit into your life, nor does it fit into your realm of understanding.

I understand that I have learned, I have grown & I am far stronger than you will ever be able to imagine.

I have learned that you fall for the sociopathic lies your son tells you.  Those fit easier into your life rather than asking questions and deciding your truth.

I have learned family doesn’t mean anything and blood is not thicker than water. What matters is the heart and the people that truly care.

I have learned that I am perfectly imperfect and a lot of people love me that way. It’s unfortunate that you cannot.  (Again, I feel sorry for you.)

I have learned that my husband and daughters are my world, will always be here for me and they have been just as hurt by your poor decision making.

I have learned you have little regard for anyone outside yourself.

I have learned I am nothing like you. (I feel sorry for you again here too.)

I am the strong and powerful daughter my Mom taught me to be.

I am the compassionate, caring person my Mom wanted me to be.

I am the example to my daughters that my Mom said I would be.

I am a confident mother, wife and friend because of the valuable lessons my Mom taught me.

I know if my Mom were here now we'd agree; she would be just as disappointed in you. (And your son.)