Feeling Naked

I've not felt so naked in quite a long time.....than after I posted about my father & his son last week. The feeling of putting my truth out there with a little bit of me hoping for a audience of one but most of all it is helping me heal. Letting out the rubbish in my mind that surrounds that part of my past helps me heal. It helps me clear the rubbish and clear my mind of 'that' negativity.

Moving on after the heartache of losing your mom is devastating; it is for me. Until dementia, my mom and I were best friends. Losing her changed my life. The best part is, that the afternoon before she died, I got to spend all my time with her. If you think about the best time and conversation you could spend with a loved one before they die, I got that.  I got to reassure my mom of so many things, let her know how very deeply loved she was and I told her it was ok to let go.  I will never forget that day and the closeness I felt with my mom. I gave her my everything.

So, despite the tragedy of losing my father too (of course, not to death but his own ego), I feel complete with the situation. I gave my mom my all and I have done everything in my power to protect her after death. I have had to protect her from her son, her ex-husband and my stepmother. I feel confident in how I handled her business and protected her interests. I don't think she ever imagined what actually happened between 'them' and me.  With her in my heart, I have prevailed.

I have prevailed because I am stronger and wiser now. I have prevailed because I have the most incredible husband on the planet and the most fabulous daughters known to mom's.  I have prevailed because I count my blessings every day. I am grateful for the love in my life, the challenges that teach me and the numerous joys that shower my family.  I thank my mom for many lessons and most of all I thank my mom for the lesson of unconditional love.