The G Krew with their pet elephant

The G Krew with their pet elephant

Thursday, September 14, 2017

The Unseen DNA


Am I the only person that when DNA is discussed, it’s so abstract it’s hard to imagine.  Like molecules, they’re mostly unseen, and even under a microscope they look like a movie or picture.  Well, DNA kinda seems like that to me.  It’s this “thing” that scientifically tells so much but feels unseen to me. And this unseen object has a magic of sharing so much.

My journey started when I took a DNA test end of 2016.  I’ve wanted to find the mystery behind my paternal Grandfather.  For so long, it seemed like the DNA wasn’t really helping my search. I would reach out to DNA matches and, if they responded, I didn’t get much information.  It felt like a dead end.

Well, my favorite unseen result of DNA was that I found a 1st cousin.  My hearts sings & I am filled with joy to find family in my journey of the mystery.  It’s not that I just started to unravel a mystery….it’s that this family feels real.  I didn’t have tons of cousins growing up and I didn’t see or visit much family. (Even though looking into it  now I have quite a bit of family that was around in SoCal growing up.)  I’m not sure what it is about having family out there but I love it! 

The other unseen result of DNA is that I am understanding the dysfunction in my immediate family.  My Grandfather (God rest his soul) left Alabama, changed his name & traveled West.  Small detail is that he left a pregnant wife & 4 children.  No divorce and you wonder if there was even a ‘goodbye’.  Eventually, he resurfaced in California under a different name and a new wife.  What kind of person does this?  A person that raised a highly dysfunctional son.  Which leads me to understanding my father. It’s a huge background on a father to understand but it all makes sense.  The same as abuse is taught/learned from one generation to the next – Ron learned the dysfunction and is passing it along.

Doing my DNA is one of the greatest things I’ve ever done. Not only did I find family but I completely understand an issue far bigger than me. My heart is free knowing I do have kin near and that my father’s dysfunction was learned – it’s not my fault.  I wholely understand, my father can’t help his meanness towards me. It’s not me -  A real father would communicate.....

It’s not my fault.

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I am a wife, a mom, a daughter & friend trying to journey the best path in life. My goals are: Great wife, Fabulous mom, and Good community member. I am overly critical and hard on myself. I am fearful (like everyone else) & do my best to show strength. I am striving to be stronger, kinder & more understanding in my day-to-day life. I love my husband completely & love being on "our team" together. Another goal...get closer to God (or whatever you want to call him/her). I want stronger faith in my life & I have people who are inspiring me in that area.